sarcasm

Ode to my Blog’s Spam Blocker

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Dear Spam Blocker for my Blog,

We have not formally met, but I wanted to introduce myself and thank you for your hard work.

I’m Michelle and I deeply admire your commitment to your craft.

As you know, I am not a professional blogger, and do this when the spirit moves me.  Recently, the spirit has moved me to write more and more about books I have been reading.  Every once in a while, I may write about politics, religion or the weather.   And have.  But, my preference right now is to discuss books written by talented female authors, with a decided “saucy,” adult twist to them.  I hope you have enjoyed my thoughts on them, as much as I have.NO SPAM

Today, however, I salute YOU, Spam Blocker.

You keep randomly generated “comments” to my posts about how to market my blog – for a low price, how to increase traffic to said blog – again, for a low price, dating websites of questionable origins, shoe websites, fishing, phishing,  stuff that looks like it was written by feet, unknown Asian characters and electronics, to a minimum.  You filter all requests for my opinion on oil prices, cars, anti-anxiety medications, vacation packages and financing for a myriad of objects that defy reason…with low interest rates, of course, with icy precision.   After you collect these gems of literature, you organize them into a folder conveniently labeled “Spam” for perusal at my leisure.

Knowing you toil tirelessly 24-hours a day, seven days a week, without requesting any vacation or sick time, makes me feel protected.   A little freaked out, in an Orwellian way, but protected nonetheless.

So, THANK YOU, Spam Blocker.  Your work has not gone unnoticed or unappreciated.

Your loyal friend and admirer,

Michelle

P.S.  I think I love you.