sarcasm
Ode to my Blog’s Spam Blocker
Dear Spam Blocker for my Blog,
We have not formally met, but I wanted to introduce myself and thank you for your hard work.
I’m Michelle and I deeply admire your commitment to your craft.
As you know, I am not a professional blogger, and do this when the spirit moves me. Recently, the spirit has moved me to write more and more about books I have been reading. Every once in a while, I may write about politics, religion or the weather. And have. But, my preference right now is to discuss books written by talented female authors, with a decided “saucy,” adult twist to them. I hope you have enjoyed my thoughts on them, as much as I have.
Today, however, I salute YOU, Spam Blocker.
You keep randomly generated “comments” to my posts about how to market my blog – for a low price, how to increase traffic to said blog – again, for a low price, dating websites of questionable origins, shoe websites, fishing, phishing, stuff that looks like it was written by feet, unknown Asian characters and electronics, to a minimum. You filter all requests for my opinion on oil prices, cars, anti-anxiety medications, vacation packages and financing for a myriad of objects that defy reason…with low interest rates, of course, with icy precision. After you collect these gems of literature, you organize them into a folder conveniently labeled “Spam” for perusal at my leisure.
Knowing you toil tirelessly 24-hours a day, seven days a week, without requesting any vacation or sick time, makes me feel protected. A little freaked out, in an Orwellian way, but protected nonetheless.
So, THANK YOU, Spam Blocker. Your work has not gone unnoticed or unappreciated.
Your loyal friend and admirer,
Michelle
P.S. I think I love you.