“Fuck you, I like guns.”

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Perspective provided by a U.S. Army Veteran. What stuck me, was how similar his views are to my husband’s (who is also a Veteran).  We need more voices, like this, speaking truth to power, via “Fuck you, I like guns.”

Tom Petty Died from an Accidental Overdose

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Petty. Cornell. Bennington. Cobain. Hendrix. Joplin. Presley. Allman.

Every generation of musicians, as well as Americans of every background has been touched by drug abuse and overdose. Sadly, we began to criminalize drug overuse/abuse and mental illness in the 1980s. Mental health was decentralized, hospitals and facilities that specialized in treating people with mental illness were defunded and many closed. Many of those patients fell through the cracks, became homeless, and turned to illegal drugs. They were left to their own devices, had to self-diagnose and self-medicate. For two generations, now.

Opiates, overprescribed because they were so “chic,” were an “acceptable” alternative, and pharmaceutical companies are only too eager to provide more options for their “markets.” Ironically, these are the same companies lobbying for the re-criminalizing of medical, and recreational use, marijuana. Marijuana, a naturally-occurring substance, in the hands of the public, will cut deeply into their profits, especially in the area of pain management.

Until we treat it as a National, and international, medical emergency, rather than a criminal one, we will continue to see needless, preventable deaths by drug overdose.

R.I.P. Mr. Petty. Again. Your music has always traveled with me and kept me company in some of my darkest hours. You will be missed, by this fan.

The Haunted Librarian


Tom Petty Died from an Accidental Overdose

The New York Times reports that Tom Petty’s family has released his cause of death: accidental overdose. America is crippled in an opioid crisis. An opioid is an opiumlike compound that binds to one or more of the three opioid receptors of the body. Painkillers such as morphine and oxycodone are opioids. So is heroin. Mixing opioids with other prescription medication is deadly. Unfortunately, Tom Petty’s death highlights how this epidemic reaches all walks of life. If you or anyone in your family suffers from an opioid addiction, please seek professional help.

Please follow the link to read the newspaper’s article here: https://www.nytimes.com/2018/01/19/arts/music/tom-petty-cause-death-opioid-overdose.html?hpw&rref=arts&action=click&pgtype=Homepage&module=well-region&region=bottom-well&WT.nav=bottom-well.

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Dear Gwyneth Paltrow we’re not f**king with you we’re correcting you, XOXO Science

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This. Because… SCIENCE.

I’m furious that this even needs to be said. Sadly, we live in era where the “National Enquirer” is considered a reputable news source, while CNN is not, so the OBVIOUS needs to be pointed out, on a regular basis.

Actors are not, typically, well versed in science. Conversely, scientists/health care professionals are discouraged from sharing their opinions about acting, as “truth.”

Everyone just stay in your lane, and ASK QUESTIONS. Do not presume to share your “theories” as facts.

Dr. Jen Gunter

Dear Ms. Paltrow,

I understand you recently said that anyone who is going to fuck with you better bring their A game.

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I’m pretty sure you don’t mean comment on your recipes but rather the growing exasperation from medical professionals and journalists alike at the almost constant debunking of the health “advice” and all around medical bullshit that you and your pals at GOOP promote and sell. No, we don’t have adrenal fatigue we have goopitis.

When I tell you that alcohol is a toxin I am not fucking with you I am being factual. Do you really think everything in the world is a toxin except alcohol and botulinum toxin? You worry so much about toxins that you constantly need to “cleanse,” but if someone were to get inTOXICated at your worried wellness GOOP cash grab in June you’ve got them covered with an intravenous. There are only…

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A Widow’s Rage Defense of Patton Oswalt’s Engagement

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Erica, FTW! When did it become ok for strangers feel entitled to “comment” on other people’s grief, disease process or loss.

Maybe I’m just old school, but saying something negative, to someone who has experienced life-altering circumstances, and the resulting pain, is personally distasteful to me. I remember learning to offer condolences, a hug, dinner, a drink or my telephone number. And keep my opinions to myself.

Grief and the pain of loss is PERSONAL. As is the process of moving through the pain, to discover who you are. Sometimes, just showing up for your own life is the most courageous and badass thing you can do.

I may be opinionated and outspoken, but even I know that silence is better than hateful bullshit.

So, be nice or be quiet. Seriously, it’s NOT about you.

Erica Roman Blog

Yesterday I was very excited to see that the comedian Patton Oswalt had announced his engagement to Meredith Salenger. Now, anyone who know’s me knows that I don’t follow the lives of celebrities at all. I’ve made an exception for him. Our spouses both unexpectedly died within 3 days of each other and both of us have processed our grief journey fairly openly. (Of course, his platform is a mite bigger than mine lol)

On the 102nd day of his journey (105 for me) he wrote in a Facebook post,

“I was face-down and frozen for weeks. It’s 102 days later and I can confidently say I have reached a point where I’m crawling. Which, objectively, is an improvement. Maybe 102 days later I’ll be walking.”

I shared that post on my own page because I could connect to that place he was in. No longer frozen, but the…

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I Don’t Accommodate Uncontrolled Men

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AMEN! I’ve always felt that purity culture is nothing more than a whiny copout to being accountable and responsible for one’s own behavior.

It seemed to have sprouted as backlash against “political correctness,” or as I like to call it “Be nice or be quiet,” “put a sock in it, loser,” or “your ass will be meeting with Human Resources. A lot. And, you will NOT enjoy it.”

Great post!



It’s summer! Time for all the the ladies to start posting articles about why it’s not a woman’s responsibility to prevent a man from lusting and all the gentlemen to start posting comments about why it’s not a woman’s responsibility, but she sure can help.

I’ve been encouraged to see the pushback, by women, even women in more conservative circles, against the toxic idea that a woman’s clothing choices can cause men to stumble.

But this pushback gets halted when a guy stands up and comfortably announces that while this personal responsibility thing all sounds great, the reality is that normal, healthy guys like him struggle, so women should still cover up. And the ladies go a little silent, unable to argue with this universal battle against sexual temptation that women never face.

The pushback against purity culture dies right then and there, because no woman wants to challenge…

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Why Teachers Suck …

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Teachers are pathetically underpaid and overworked and yet, STILL continue to WANT to teach. It is a calling that should be held in the highest esteem, not undercut and buried in paperwork. Each year we lose talented educators, and continue to defund public education. We are already paying the price, and the “bill” will only increase.

Teachers are heroes. Period.

Bert Fulks

A friend and I were grousing about ignorance run amok.

“Americans get their information from internet memes,” I laughed.  “And in the true spirit of democracy, dullards who have never cracked a book will cancel the votes of people who actually have a clue. What could go wrong?”

“You know what the problem is?” Tim challenged.  “Our country’s a mess because teachers suck.”

teacher2I bristled.

Although I’ve been out of the classroom for a number of years, once a teacher, always a teacher.  Plus, I have family and friends still slugging it out in the trenches.  I know their battles and the wounds they carry.

“Dude, do you know what teachers endure on a daily basis?” I asked Tim.  I found that, no, he didn’t.  I fear most Americans might be as clueless.

I emailed a former colleague (she’s two years from retirement) and asked one question:  “How has education…

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It’s not what you think

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As a fan of Soundgarden, the Seattle Sound and American punk rock, Chris Cornell’s untimely death hit me really hard. Maybe it was the fact that he was joining a club of musicians I liked, who all died by suicide. But, I suspect it was because he was only about three years older than I am.

Maybe I thought that once we got out of our twenties and thirties, life would become less difficult, because we would’ve figured things out.

Maybe I expected that middle-aged musicians had access to mental health support, appropriate antidepressants and were immersed in family and community life.

But, as I have chronicled on this very blog, clinical depression is an insidious and jealous “lover,” who pops up whether we are experiencing success or not.

All I know, is that every day we manage to participate in our own lives, is a victory. Chris Cornell had 52 years of being victorious, before succumbing to the beast. My heart hurts for his family and friends, who will struggle to understand what happened. Only Chris will truly know. Or maybe he won’t. I just wish him peace and love. God rest his soul.

The First Ten Words by Rich Larson

Chris Cornell, 1964-2017

Chris Cornell died early Thursday morning. His band Soundgarden played a show on Wednesday night at the Fox Theater in Detroit. Two hours after the show ended, he was gone.

For two days, I’ve been working on a piece to pay tribute to him, and it’s been a struggle. Usually when I have a problem like this it’s because I’m staring at a blank screen trying to figure out what I want to say. That’s not the problem this time. The problem is I have way too much to say.

I’m not going to sit here and claim to have been a huge fan of Soundgarden. I didn’t dislike them, I just had to take them in small doses. I was a fan of Cornell. I love “Seasons,” the solo song he had on Cameron Crowe’s movie, Singles. It’s a droning acoustic song about isolation and the…

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