Ode to my Blog’s Spam Blocker
Dear Spam Blocker for my Blog,
We have not formally met, but I wanted to introduce myself and thank you for your hard work.
I’m Michelle and I deeply admire your commitment to your craft.
As you know, I am not a professional blogger, and do this when the spirit moves me. Recently, the spirit has moved me to write more and more about books I have been reading. Every once in a while, I may write about politics, religion or the weather. And have. But, my preference right now is to discuss books written by talented female authors, with a decided “saucy,” adult twist to them. I hope you have enjoyed my thoughts on them, as much as I have.
Today, however, I salute YOU, Spam Blocker.
You keep randomly generated “comments” to my posts about how to market my blog – for a low price, how to increase traffic to said blog – again, for a low price, dating websites of questionable origins, shoe websites, fishing, phishing, stuff that looks like it was written by feet, unknown Asian characters and electronics, to a minimum. You filter all requests for my opinion on oil prices, cars, anti-anxiety medications, vacation packages and financing for a myriad of objects that defy reason…with low interest rates, of course, with icy precision. After you collect these gems of literature, you organize them into a folder conveniently labeled “Spam” for perusal at my leisure.
Knowing you toil tirelessly 24-hours a day, seven days a week, without requesting any vacation or sick time, makes me feel protected. A little freaked out, in an Orwellian way, but protected nonetheless.
So, THANK YOU, Spam Blocker. Your work has not gone unnoticed or unappreciated.
Your loyal friend and admirer,
Michelle
P.S. I think I love you.
Reading, Drinking and Dancing with a Chaser of Snark 
June 13, 2013 at 4:03 am
Excellent post! I too am in love with Mr Spam Blocker. He saved me from gifting my bank account to my long lost Nigerian cousin who has been searching the world for me to donate 4 billion dollars to my account. Thank you Mr Spam Blocker for knowing my peen (which to date has been secretly hiding) needs to grow another four inches. Thank you Mr Spam Blocker for saving me from a dating site where I can mingle with other older men with needs like mine. I’m seeing a pattern. I think I need to go and search for my missing peen.
June 13, 2013 at 4:11 am
Dang! I FORGOT about our Nigerian cousin and his millions that needed to be conveniently “deposited” into our bank accounts. Face palm.
But, who doesn’t want a bigger peenie? Seriously. The Internet is the first place I go to, for medical advice. Doctors, schmoctors? Who needs them?
Love ya H! C’mon back and party soon!
June 18, 2013 at 10:45 pm
my spam blocker is a God Send.
June 18, 2013 at 11:08 pm
Becca, I’ve elevated mine to book boyfriend status. He’s that good.
November 19, 2013 at 2:59 am
[…] I mentioned on June 12th and June 25th I am indebted to my Spam Blocker for diligently patrolling my blog to keep it free […]