El Bachelor es un Gran Pendejo and We Can’t Stop Watching

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El Pendejo
El Pendejo

SPOILER ALERT:  If you have not watched this week’s episodes of The Bachelor stop reading, immediately. 

I have watched ABC’s The Bachelor and The Bachelorette on and off since the first season.  I usually watched the first few shows, dropped off in the middle and picked it back up when the contestants had been narrowed down to four or five.  Of all the reality TV dating shows, The Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise had the best track record of lasting relationships.  Two Bachelorettes and one Bachelor reached the altar with their chosen “Final Rose” recipient.  The majority of the couples dated then broke up.

I questioned the motives of the male contestants and Bachelors, because it could be a meat market for unscrupulous men.  Fortunately,  most of the men have taken the process seriously, whether they have found Ms. Right, or not.  Moreover, most of the female contestants were truly looking for love –  in the worst possible scenario and under international television scrutiny – but, once all the hype was stripped away, they wanted to make a love connection.  This show was for folks with brass cojones, as they were willingly subjecting themselves to an artificial dating environment and giving up their privacy.  In fact, the group dynamics were fascinating  (cringe-worthy) to watch from a sociological perspective.   (I hope there were mental health professionals available to assist them as they transitioned back to the “real” world.)

Kermit is not amused by you, Juan Pablo.
Kermit is not amused by you, Juan Pablo.

On Desiree’s season of The Bachelorette, there was a contestant who stood out as special.  His name was Juan Pablo Galavis and along with so many women (and men) I fell under his mesmerizing spell.  I was thrilled when he was named the next Bachelor.  Finally, a Bachelor I could root for!  Juan Pablo was an attractive, Latino, single dad, completely devoted to his daughter,  who carried himself as a charming gentleman.   Desiree  eliminated him relatively early, but his loyal fans ensured ABC knew how popular he was, and he was selected to be the next Bachelor.

All of us who expected to see the same man who enchanted us, were duped!   Juan Pablo started off charming enough, but quickly became quite the megadouchetart.  As the weeks progressed and he narrowed down his selection of contestants,  we saw sides of his personality that sent up puzzling red flags.    Was he plagued by a language barrier or simply a “guy,” versus a “man” as eloquently expressed in Cameron Crowe’s 1989 movie Say Anything?   Long story, short…..he was a guy…the lowest version thereof.

Andi from Atlanta
D.A. Andi from Atlanta

Not one, but two women walked off the show, effectively eliminating themselves.  The first, Sharleen, was ambivalent about the entire process and I am still confused as to how she was selected to participate.  The woman was never engaged in the process, but was likely seeking publicity for her opera career.   More power to her.   On Monday night, however, Juan Pablo went on the “hometown” dates, where met the final three contestants’ families.   Each family expressed concerns over the situation the women found themselves in and questioned whether or not, Juan Pablo was seriously committed to each one.

Here's to an epic Rose Ceremony, and the well-deserved roast of Juan Pablo. ¡Salúd!
Here’s to an epic Rose Ceremony, and the well-deserved roast of Juan Pablo. ¡Salúd!

Tuesday night, Andi, the bright, bubbly District Attorney from Atlanta, with the best dad in Bachelor history, left the show.  She and Juan Pablo had a  disastrous fantasy suite date,  where he shared (bragged?) about his  “conquests.”  After trying unsuccessfully to make Juan Pablo understand, react or reach out to her, she put him in his place, called him out as an arrogant asshole and left.   I cheered her on all the way.  As I live tweeted through tvtag, the overwhelming consensus was that all the women, who had either left or been eliminated, were better off without Juan Pablo, aka. El Pendejo.   His final tweet of the show was “I’de Rather Not Be Appreciated Being Honest, Than Be Appreciated And Not Being Honest…”  No te preocupes, querido.  Las pocas fanáticas que te quedaban ya no existen, mal criado.

Must see TV indeed.   Telenovela writers wished they had this material!    I felt badly for the women on the show, but as a viewer, this was reality TV gold.   Oh, and I expect to see Andi again.  Very soon.

Next week is the Final Rose Ceremony and the rumors abound as to whether Juan Pablo will choose Clare or Nikki.   Reality Steve provided spoilers when the season started, but nothing is as entertaining as the teasers for the Reunion Show.  It promises to be a skewer-fest as the women have their “day in court.”  I will be watching and live tweeting.  Pour yourself a lovely glass of Malbec and join me.

In the meantime, here is a toast to Lloyd Dobler , who proved to a man, not a guySigh.

3 thoughts on “El Bachelor es un Gran Pendejo and We Can’t Stop Watching

    Inion N. Mathair said:
    March 6, 2014 at 4:19 pm

    Clearly we need to find out what Michelle watches cuz we’ve never seen any of these shows which sound phenomenal! I’ve heard of this one but wasn’t sure if it was worth a watch. BTW~That girl is drop dead gorgeous!!! 😉 I think I’ll see if I can get Inion on! Eyes like daggers she threatens me!! lmao. Great post Michelle!!

      Michelle responded:
      March 6, 2014 at 7:05 pm

      This train wreck has been entertaining to say the least. The blooper reel alone is fun to watch.

    […] Last week we learned that there may have been a more intimate moment between Juan Pablo and Clare, that he disclosed (bragged about) when he spent time with Andi in the Fantasy Suite.  Whatever was said, was bad enough to have Andi rip into Juan Pablo and and walk off the show. […]

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