Reading, Drinking and Dancing with a Chaser of Snark

FOR RELEASE DECEMBER 17, 2013

DALLAS – The U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) filed a lawsuit today against the Keller family and Santa Claus alleging they violated federal civil rights laws by permitting a hostile work environment filled with health and safety violations for Jerry Jingle, a student intern with Claus’s Elf on the Shelf ® program.

The Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA) recently concluded its own investigation on the health and safety claims and levied a $1.2 million fine against the Kellers for violations.  Their investigation of Claus is pending because heavily-armed penguins and snowman snipers have refused to allow OSHA to enter to Claus’s North Pole headquarters.

According to the EEOC’s lawsuit, Claus promoted the program as “fun and playful off-site training” required for all elf underclassmen; however, the EEOC’s investigation indicated that the program was based on systematic and institutionalized humiliation directed toward Jingle and other interns…