This song always puts a smile on my face and gets me up to move and groove. Happy Friday!
This song always puts a smile on my face and gets me up to move and groove. Happy Friday!
SPOILER ALERT: If you have not watched this week’s episodes of The Bachelor stop reading, immediately.
I have watched ABC’s The Bachelor and The Bachelorette on and off since the first season. I usually watched the first few shows, dropped off in the middle and picked it back up when the contestants had been narrowed down to four or five. Of all the reality TV dating shows, The Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise had the best track record of lasting relationships. Two Bachelorettes and one Bachelor reached the altar with their chosen “Final Rose” recipient. The majority of the couples dated then broke up.
I questioned the motives of the male contestants and Bachelors, because it could be a meat market for unscrupulous men. Fortunately, most of the men have taken the process seriously, whether they have found Ms. Right, or not. Moreover, most of the female contestants were truly looking for love - in the worst possible scenario and under international television scrutiny – but, once all the hype was stripped away, they wanted to make a love connection. This show was for folks with brass cojones, as they were willingly subjecting themselves to an artificial dating environment and giving up their privacy. In fact, the group dynamics were fascinating (cringe-worthy) to watch from a sociological perspective. (I hope there were mental health professionals available to assist them as they transitioned back to the “real” world.)
On Desiree’s season of The Bachelorette, there was a contestant who stood out as special. His name was Juan Pablo Galavis and along with so many women (and men) I fell under his mesmerizing spell. I was thrilled when he was named the next Bachelor. Finally, a Bachelor I could root for! Juan Pablo was an attractive, Latino, single dad, completely devoted to his daughter, who carried himself as a charming gentleman. Desiree eliminated him relatively early, but his loyal fans ensured ABC knew how popular he was, and he was selected to be the next Bachelor.
All of us who expected to see the same man who enchanted us, were duped! Juan Pablo started off charming enough, but quickly became quite the megadouchetart. As the weeks progressed and he narrowed down his selection of contestants, we saw sides of his personality that sent up puzzling red flags. Was he plagued by a language barrier or simply a “guy,” versus a “man” as eloquently expressed in Cameron Crowe’s 1989 movie Say Anything? Long story, short…..he was a guy…the lowest version thereof.
Not one, but two women walked off the show, effectively eliminating themselves. The first, Sharleen, was ambivalent about the entire process and I am still confused as to how she was selected to participate. The woman was never engaged in the process, but was likely seeking publicity for her opera career. More power to her. On Monday night, however, Juan Pablo went on the “hometown” dates, where met the final three contestants’ families. Each family expressed concerns over the situation the women found themselves in and questioned whether or not, Juan Pablo was seriously committed to each one.
Tuesday night, Andi, the bright, bubbly District Attorney from Atlanta, with the best dad in Bachelor history, left the show. She and Juan Pablo had a disastrous fantasy suite date, where he shared (bragged?) about his “conquests.” After trying unsuccessfully to make Juan Pablo understand, react or reach out to her, she put him in his place, called him out as an arrogant asshole and left. I cheered her on all the way. As I live tweeted through tvtag, the overwhelming consensus was that all the women, who had either left or been eliminated, were better off without Juan Pablo, aka. El Pendejo. His final tweet of the show was “I’de Rather Not Be Appreciated Being Honest, Than Be Appreciated And Not Being Honest…” No te preocupes, querido. Las pocas fanáticas que te quedaban ya no existen, mal criado.
Must see TV indeed. Telenovela writers wished they had this material! I felt badly for the women on the show, but as a viewer, this was reality TV gold. Oh, and I expect to see Andi again. Very soon.
Next week is the Final Rose Ceremony and the rumors abound as to whether Juan Pablo will choose Clare or Nikki. Reality Steve provided spoilers when the season started, but nothing is as entertaining as the teasers for the Reunion Show. It promises to be a skewer-fest as the women have their “day in court.” I will be watching and live tweeting. Pour yourself a lovely glass of Malbec and join me.
In the meantime, here is a toast to Lloyd Dobler , who proved to a man, not a guy. Sigh.
En el 18 de febrero, Rubén Blades, publicó su resumen personal llamado, Venezuela, sobre la situación trágica que está viviendo el pueblo Venezolano a manos de sus gobernantes y cuerpos militares. Como mencioné en este blog, soy fanática del cantautor, pero no de su ausiencia durante el régimen de Noriega, en Panamá. Esa “persona” (Noreiga) nos dañó la adolecencia a más de una generación y se cago en nuestro país, pero su juicio será por el Todopoderoso, ya que la Karma nos encuentra a todos, al fin y al cabo.
Al leer las declaraciones de Blades, Nicolás Maduro, Presidente de Venezuela, quien ordenó los ataques brutales sobre manifestantes pacificos, transmitió este video. Maduro, quien dice ser fanático de Blades, no solo, malinterpreta la letra y mensaje de sus canciones, si no que invita a Blades a Venezuela. El hombre es un imbecil malvado, cajonauta, con complejo napoleónico de grado superlativo. O como decimos en Panamá…¡Qué poca altura!
El 20 de febrero, Blades le “paró el happy” a Maduro con las siguientes declaraciones eloquentes y prudentes. Rubén Blades estudió derecho en la Universidad de Panamá, obtenió su posgrado en Harvard University y ha creado una carrera sobresaliente como compositor, músico y cantante. Las palabras han sido su lienzo y las usa con precisión en su respuesta a Maduro.
Mientras tanto, las violaciones a los derechos humanos contra los Venezolanos, a manos de su gobierno siguen sin censura alguna del primer mundo. ¡¡¿Hasta cuando?!!
#SOSVenezuela #PrayforVenezuela #JusticiaparaVenezuela
In Sampling St. Petersburg’s New Art And Food Scene, Forbes Travel Guide’s Michelle Doucette provides a glimpse into some of the changes St. Petersburg, Florida has been undergoing to become a destination for art lovers and foodies alike.
I lived in Tampa for almost ten years, before moving to St. Petersburg and can vouch for the eclectic arts scene that exists here. While the article mentions our new and growing craft beer industry and some of the local breweries, it fails to acknowledge the long-time City, County and private partnerships that have contributed greatly to re-investments in the City of St. Petersburg. Our City has dedicated green space and dog parks, and a Mayor, Rick Krisemen, who worked tirelessly throughout his career to ensure our Human Rights Ordinance was developed and passed. In fact, he was the first elected official to sign last year’s St. Pete Pride Proclamation, which coincided with one of the most successful, family-oriented, Pride celebrations in the country. (He served on the City Council when he signed the Proclamation and was instrumental in keeping pressure on previous Mayors to sign the Proclamation).
Add in Major League Baseball’s Tampa Bay Rays, museums with diverse collections like The Dali Museum, the Florida Holocaust Museum and the Museum of Fine Arts, one of the oldest and largest MLK Day celebrations in the country, our beautiful beaches and year-round great weather and you will begin to see why we love our unique slice of heaven.
I can be found at the dog beach at Fort De Soto, alongside Hubby and our sun-worshipping K9 kids: Zeke, Hannah and Charlie.
Followers of this blog, know I am a PASSIONATE supporter of sorority life for college women. In fact, one of my favorite topics to discuss with parents of college-aged women is membership in Greek Letter Organizations and all its benefits. I am excited whenever a young woman finds her sorority home away from home and creates lifelong friendship. I enjoy submitting recruitment information forms (RIFs) for potential new members as they start their sorority journey. And, I love writing letters of recommendation for graduate school and new jobs for women I watched grow though into themselves through sorority life.
My personal college experience was enriched the day I accepted my Bid in 1989. I joined a group of women who accepted me as I was, but also pushed me to be the best version of myself. Since I attended a large commuter University, Greek Life was my touchstone with extracurricular activities that enhanced my years at college. There were socials, study parties, basketball games and all-night float-building marathons, and yes, keggers, where I learned more about myself and my fellow Sisters.
Together we supported each other through the good and bad times. We were our Sisters’ keepers and responsible not only for following the rules and regulations of the organization and the University, but ensuring that our Sisters did as well. The rules were in place to make sure we had a complete academic, leadership, philanthropic, fun, balanced and safe sorority program. We knew that one bad apple could certainly spoil the bunch, and were cognizant of the greater level of scrutiny placed on sorority women by society – both by folks who wanted us to succeed and those who expected us to fail and take on the worst characteristics of the stereotypical “sorority girl gone wrong.”
Today, the actions of a few bad apples culminated in harsh consequences for the larger group, as the Chi Omega Chapter at the University of Pennsylvania was closed. The investigation of this Chapter was prompted by a series of poor decisions, that were exposed by a deeply offensive event. I was disappointed in these women, not only as their Sister, but as a Latina and a woman. As a former volunteer Sorority Adviser, I can attest to the fact that the collegiate leaders of this group were provided with close, one-on-one mentoring by older Alumnae members who were selected for their professional expertise and trained in how to supervise the activities of a college sorority. These Alumnae very likely advised (and scolded) them repeatedly about appropriate party topics among other teachable moments in the management of risk for a group of collegiate women. This advice was accompanied by sanctions, repercussions and intense education by the National organization, along with a timeline for successful completion of the sanctions and re-education. It was the college women’s decision to follow sage advice, but, as a self-governing groups of adults, they did not have to.
Unfortunately, they chose the worst possible outcome and started the chain reaction that led the National organization to close the Chapter. While I was sadden by the news, I fully supported the difficult decision made by the Governing Council (national executive officers). National Panhellenic Conference (NPC) groups have no tolerance for behavior that demeans, ridicules, or hurts other people and these have been articulated in the Unanimous Agreements, as well as the Fraternity’s Bylaws and Constitution. The governance documents are how we hold ourselves, and each other, accountable. Our goal is to uphold our ideals as we continually prepare women for life after college. In short , we strive to build women up and it is not by accident that so many female leaders are members of NPC groups. We have been doing it for over a hundred years, successfully, because we maintain the highest standards.
My sincerest wish for the women who lost their Chapter, by their own actions, is that they learned the lessons. My heart breaks for those women who tried, in vain, to steer the group, back to a place of honor and class, because I know they did not deserve to lose their Chapter. However, I am a proud sorority woman because we police ourselves. It is these events that remind me why I pledged to honor my Fraternity’s creed and support fellow Sisters. Sisterhood is for a lifetime, not just for the four years of college.
The Drift: A Guide to Surviving a Friendship Breakup, by Lauren Foster, prompted me to look back at former friendships. Her tips for working through the process included: allowing oneself room to mourn, letting go, giving thanks, and finally, forming new friendships. It struck a chord with me, and I wondered if breaking up with friends was as difficult as breaking up with a significant other.
Social media allowed me to reconnect with many old friends, meet the man who became Hubby, and find new sets of like-minded people who shared my interests in Zumba, health and weight loss, Nursing and reading. I met my Zumba instructor friends in 2008, at the ZIN (Zumba Instructors Network) Convention, after “speaking” with them on an everyday basis through a networking message board. When we met in person for the first time, it felt like a reunion of long-time friends. We had a wonderful time together and remained connected, through Facebook, even though we are scattered throughout the country. Similarly, I remained connected with new Nursing school friends and old high school and college friends.
Facebook also brought new people into my life and several acquaintances became friends. Because I craved the one-on-one interaction of looking someone in the eye when speaking with them, I wanted to meet online friends in person. Logistically, that was impossible. Additionally, there was a layer of anonymity and artifice as we could create an online persona different from our own. There was a chance that we were getting a “sanitized for the internet” version of someone’s personality, but I think people’s true colors eventually surfaced the more we got to know each other.
Recently, a couple of my online friendships reached a logical end. One was easily dismissed, as she was not someone I felt comfortable confiding in. She was an oversensitive, passive/aggressive person whose feelings were easily hurt. Moreover, her definition of confidentiality and mine were incompatible. Communicating with her was simply tiresome and reminiscent of volatile, hormone-driven Middle School friendships. Peace. Out.
The other break up hurt. She and I bonded over mutual experiences and beliefs. Unfortunately, her image of me was influenced by others and she accused me of speaking ill of her behind her back. At the same time she was speaking ill of me. I freely admitted to speaking (er, gossiping…gulp) about her, but my “error” was calling her out for doing the same thing.
I developed my own thick skin, but that did not mean that I had not suffered at the hands of Regina George and her ostracizing band of Mean Girls. After reaching out to her a couple of times, it became abundantly clear that she no longer wanted my friendship. I took a relationship break, as it became obvious that I was a”fan friend” there to build her up, rather than a partner in the relationship. I said goodbye privately to the friendship, and mentally moved her to my “cordial acquaintances” list.
The pain of losing the connections was similar to breakups I had with men. The drama associated with them, however, was decidedly female. While I didn’t have physical relationships with my female friends, I was still sad to see them leave. Once these friendships ended I immediately felt lighter, as if a weight had been removed from my chest. As I realized I would not be speaking with these people everyday as I had grown accustomed to, I embraced a short grieving period.
Then, something astounding happened.
I found TIME. Time to speak with other online friends, time to spend cleaning up my house, time to read other books, time to watch television, time to work and most importantly, time to spend with my family! It was not only liberating, but empowering and humbling. As those doors closed, others opened. I just needed to allow them the space, take a deep breath and plunge back in.
Tell me about your experience breaking up with friends. Was it an ugly breakup or did you just drift away from each other? Did you ever reconnect with the old friends?
Editorial by Carlos Sabino on the lack of response by Latin American countries to the critical situation in Venezuela. Panamá remains the only country to demand the OAS (Organization of American States) intervene. As a result, Venezuelan President Maduro severed economic and diplomatic ties with Panamá on Wednesday. This was the statement released to the press by President Martinelli of Panamá, in response. It is important to acknowledge, that Venezuela was one of the most vocal countries in calling for investigations of violent suppression of peaceful demonstrations in Panamá, in the mid to late 1980s.
Happy Mardi Gras, everyone!
Originally posted on theGrio:
People wear purple, green, and gold, and are adorned with long beads caught from the beautiful floats that parade through the streets.
You’ll see a lot of crazy costumes, kids everywhere, and both locals and visitors having a great time.
Click here to watch more Videos from theGrio
I love the Betches for their hard-hitting commentary. And, snark.
I watched and live tweeted throughout the show on “tvtag.” It was one of the best Oscars shows I’ve seen in years. If Ellen is not available to host, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, should be considered. The female comics keep the jokes funny and tasteful.
I have mixed feelings about Zak Bagans’ Travel Channel show “Ghost Adventurers,” even though I am a fan. They seem to have a knack for disrespecting spirits and taunting demons. However, their show is a nice contrast to the more serious “The Dead Files,” which takes a methodical, more global approach to examining places with possible paranormal activity. “The Dead Files,” pairs Amy Allan a medium with Steve Di Shavi on each case. Amy and Steve disseminate evidence separately, then provide the families a comprehensive report, with historical data, about events that may have lead to hauntings. They also provide suggestions on how to deal with any paranormal activity. Zak and his crew have a more of a “bull in a china shop” approach.
As The Haunted Librarian notes, Zak recently purchased a property in Indiana, known as the “portal to hell.” He plans to live there, while his team investigates any activity. What could possibly happen? Oh boy. Dangerous, does not begin to describe the world of hurt they may be unleashing, if they go into that situation ill-prepared and full of piss and vinegar. In other words, the way they walk into all of their investigations.
API will be discussing this case and possible repercussions on their show, Thursday and I am curious to hear their take. Tune in, folks.
Originally posted on The Haunted Librarian:
“Portal to Hell’s” New Owner: Zak Bagans
Granted I’m a tad tardy to the discussion, but I’ve decided to jump into to fray. Ghost Adventurer’s Lead Investigator Zak Bagans has purchased the “haunted” house on Carolina Street in Gary, Indiana. He paid $35,000 for the “modest” property. Bagans is quoted as saying: “I really [have] a passion for this stuff… .” This smacks as a publicity stunt!